I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
