I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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