Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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