my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
