just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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