I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
