You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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