I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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