how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I AM VODKA MAN
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
PANTIES FOUND
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