When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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