I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
