why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
And then he peed in my hair
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