Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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