Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
