my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
