Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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