It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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