i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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