On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
