Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You made out with two different species that night
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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