Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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