oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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