you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize
