Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
