also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
