matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
