If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
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As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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