The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
