Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
