she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
