Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
