Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
