So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
