all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize