lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
organizing the empties. That sober.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
