I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
A bitchslap is in order.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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