You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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