mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize