it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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