You can't special order awesome
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.