i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked