I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I want to fling myself into the sun
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
