READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
