I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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