12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
