I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Two words: blizzard sex
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
