Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
