I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
ttyl tear gas
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
