Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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