Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
