Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
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I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
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I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize