After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
