at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
