just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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