I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
